Team Uncle Zac!

Stole this from Uncle Zac’s blog and I am so, so, SO proud and happy for him! Minions forever!

I was mostly offline the past couple of days and missed the announcement from NYT bestselling author of many fab books!

So, take it away Uncle Z . . .

~*~

Greetings, Minions! (And a brief TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with depression, suicidal urges, and anxiety – please prepare yourself before reading it, and if you can’t bring yourself to do that, skip it entirely. Your safety is my utmost concern.

I hope this finds you all well, that you’re enjoying your summer, and that your lil black hearts are full of peace and joy. I’ve been keeping busy, writing up a storm, and feeding the kittehs far too many treats for not very good reasons. It’s their lil schmooshy, fuzzy faces! How can I resist?

Things have been really busy here, and a tad bit whacky, but all for good reasons. I wanted to write to you all, needed to write to you all, because I have something very important to share and want to make sure to get it all down in the best way I see fit. And since I’m a writer, this makes the most sense to me.

I don’t know if you know (though I’m certain many of you do if you follow me on social media), but I’ve been in therapy for about a year now, and it’s been wonderful. When I first started seeing my therapist, I was deep in a depression that has chased me my entire life, constantly nipping at my heels. I had a crazy amount of anxiety, and I was suicidal. I’m happy to say that I’m not suicidal anymore, my depression is totally under control, and my anxiety is being managed really well. My husband (you know him as Uncle Paul) and I have never been closer, and The Brewer Clan is just so great at the moment and closer than we have ever been. To go from wanting to end my life to a year later, when I can’t even imagine having felt that way…it’s been an incredible journey. I’m still on my meds (antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds, and all of my vitamin supplements) and plan to stay on them until my doctors say I don’t need them (if they ever do – I don’t mind swallowing a few pills every morning if it keeps me healthy in body and mind). I also plan to continue with therapy, because it’s really helped me so much. I’m sure if you asked Uncle Paul, he’d tell you that he’s never seen me so happy, in all our 20 years together.

There’s something I need to tell you all—something I’ve really known my entire life, but have only recently come to fully understand and to share with those closest to me. Uncle Paul, Jacob and The Girl all know, as well as much of my extended family, many of my close friends, and my amazing publishing and agenting teams. But here comes the big part—sharing with my Minion Horde the one thing that I have not yet told you about myself.

If you’ve paid attention over the years, you know that I’m a big advocate for owning your weird, for being your authentic self, for standing up and shouting into the world how proud you are of who you are. I confess, I’ve not been as authentic as I wish that I had been years before. But there is a time and place for everything, and my time is now.

Growing up, I always felt like I didn’t fit in—not with other people, and not even within my own shell. It was this strange, sad feeling that permeated every moment of my life, and contributed to my depression from a young age. It took me a long time to identify why I felt that way, and I did so about nine years ago. I told Uncle Paul about three years ago, but asked him not to say anything to anyone until I was ready.

I’m ready now.

When I was little, I can remember my mom arguing about trying to get me to wear a dress. I didn’t want to wear it and when she asked why, I said, “Because I’m a boy.” She said, “You’re not a boy. You’re a girl, and you will always be a girl.” It broke my heart, and I’ve been trying to be a girl ever since. Trying to be a girl. Because deep down inside, I know that I am not female, despite being assigned female at birth.

The truth is, Minions, I’m transgender. I am a man—a gay man, actually—and it’s time to live as my true self. I’m soon going to begin my physical transition. It would be nice if I could flip a switch and BAM! present fully as the man that I am inside, but these things take time, and I’m happy to share my journey with you.

I want my outsides to match my insides, and my therapist agrees that much of my anxiety, depression, and suicidal tendencies have come from not being able to be myself openly. Authenticity, as I’ve said many times in the past, is incredibly important to me. My name will now be Zachary Oliver Brewer, but I plan to largely go by Zac (unless I get in trouble—what is it about the middle name that strikes fear into the hearts of people?). You may call me Uncle Zac. My preferred pronouns are he/him/his.

If you have any questions about what being transgender means, here is a very helpful link to a site that can explain it very well:http://community.pflag.org/Document.Doc?id=202 Also, Publishers Weekly was kind enough to interview me recently about my big news, and I hope you’ll all go check it out: http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/childrens/childrens-authors/article/67167-author-brewer-announces-gender-transition.html

I just wanted to share with you my amazing news, and it seemed like a letter was the best way to handle it. Please take as much time as you need to let this all sink in. If you have any questions, I’m happy to answer them. For now, I’ll be taking some time offline to spend time with my family and the kittehs and to consume entirely too much Starbucks.

I love you all so much, Minions. And I totally understand that this change will take time for you to adjust to. But I can’t bear going on pretending to be something that I am not. Please try to understand. I’m still me. I’ll just look a little different, and be a lot happier.

Especially after I get a refill on this latte. 😉

Much Love,

Uncle Zac